sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
