she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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