I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize