is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
