dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
