I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
