if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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