I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
