he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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