no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
