So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
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I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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