So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
