Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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