Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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