He passed out mid-signature
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
tell me about the fingering
Randomize