first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
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