I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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