i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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