hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
