Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
