literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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