just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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