HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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