drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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