What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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