after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
