is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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