it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
