I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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