I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Enjoy the penises
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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