Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
