Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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