East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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