My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
