I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
