Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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