i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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