I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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