look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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