I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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