I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize