wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
