whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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