thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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