scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
