just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize