Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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