check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
