I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
