Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
