Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
