"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
