i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
