it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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