my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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