Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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