Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
