You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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