It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We need to get me chipped asap
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
