My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I think your dad took our porno
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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