so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
All I want is dick and wine.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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