butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
