All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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