I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
