I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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