i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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