But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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