How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
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I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
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Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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