At least make sure they are 18
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
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she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
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I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.