I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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